My testimony today.

I just climbed out of bed to come blog. I couldn't sleep thinking about my day. I knew I wanted to record my thoughts and feelings and I couldn't sleep until I did. I apologize for the length of the post but I felt compelled to share.

Last night Justin and I went to the temple. It was one of my best friend's birthday and we were invited to go to dinner with a big group to celebrate. However, we chose to keep our appointment at the temple, which we could have easily changed to a different day and time. I was feeling a smidge guilty and when I later apologized to her, she reminded me that we chose to leave behind something good for something better. She is so great. Do you see why I call her one of my best friends? Anyway, I'm so glad that we made that small sacrifice because it really just prepared me for Sunday. I had a hard time staying focused in the temple. I just kept thinking about this one particular trial that has invaded our otherwise fairly peaceful lives this week. No, I'm not talking about the early freeze that has threatened a large percent of our apple crop. That pales in comparison to this. I'm not really going to say anything more about it other than this trial has left Justin and I feeling so very sad and hurt. So, I couldn't concentrate in the temple last night very well. However, when we got to the Celestial room, I could feel the Spirit there and I knew we had made the right choice to be there together. After we left the temple we went to dinner and then began a fast together.

This morning, Sacrament meeting was great and again I could feel the Spirit close by me. I was very emotional and many times had to wipe away the tears. I was still feeling sad and hurt. We practiced for the primary program for the last 2 hours of church and I felt like I had my emotions sitting on my sleeve through the whole thing. Fortunately, I play the piano and no one looks at me during the songs which is when I loose tears down my cheeks. But, by the end of church I was at least feeling better.

We had a nice afternoon together as a family and then Justin and I took Seila and Kai to Stake standards night. It's an evening meeting that is held once a year for the youth (12 and up) to remind them about how important it is that they keep their standards high and the blessings that come from that. Again, I felt the Holy Ghost close by and teared up several times throughout the talks but this time I felt different. I felt a calming feeling and a peace. I felt that my Father in Heaven loves me. I felt that my Savior loves me. I felt the sad and hurt leave my heart. I felt the atonement of Jesus Christ heal my heart.

I wasn't even fasting for myself or Justin today. I was fasting for someone else but I received blessings that I needed. I am deeply grateful for a loving Father above who is mindful of me and loves me and sends me what I need. I am also deeply grateful for my Savior Jesus Christ and the atoning sacrifice that he made that allows my heart to heal when it is broken and allows me to repent and erase my sins and mistakes. I love the gift of the Holy Ghost and I hope and pray that I am always worthy of His presence in my life. He teaches me truth, guides me when I'm in the dark, comforts me when I sorrow, and fills my heart with love from heaven when I have run myself to empty. Again I am brought to tears. This time in gratitude. Gratitude for a working knowledge of our Heavenly Father's plan of happiness. Gratitude for a loving husband who knows how to help me grow closer to my Father. Gratitude for parents who taught me faith in my Savior Jesus Christ and his atonement.